You Know How the Story Goes...

Girl meets girl. Girl smooches girl at costume party. Girl has to go home to...let's just say...tie up loose ends. Three years later, with a couple of bumps along the way, girl wakes up, one glorious morning, with the proclamation that, "Yes, this is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with!"

Now, it would be a vast understatement to say that I arrived at this place effortlessly. There were a number of factors, which will be revealed in time, that positioned themselves as an armed rebel squad in the middle of the road to marriage, for me. To even slightly entertain the thought, the gang would become riled and begin hurling rocks and machetes at me. The heart palpitations, arm pit sweats, and sudden nausea, alone, was enough for me to recoil from playing wedding-what-if.

It wasn't the thought of waking up to the same person everyday that was offensive to me. I am a romantic; I relish the idea of growing old with the person I adore (though, in my mind, she wrinkles and grays, while I remain youthfully radiant, void of times evil hands in aging). The fact is, or was, that I simply did not believe in the vows taken when you marry. You see it every episode on those overly dramatic wedding programs. The adorable couple, with hope in their hearts and dreams in their eyes, get engaged. He slyly slips a diamond ring, which he will spend the next seven years trying to pay off, as interest accrues and his credit score plummets to hell, in her glass of bubbly. Overjoyed, she says, "Yes!" They spend the next year and a half planning the perfect wedding day. She has the Vera Wang ballroom gown that she dreamed of as a little girl. Her darling 5 year old niece bashfully walks down the aisle, forgetting to sprinkle the rose petals. Daddy gives the bride away to her soon-to-be hubby. The minister reads 1 Corinthians 13:4, "Love is patient, love is kind." They say, "I will." (that seems to be the new thing). Maybe they jump over a broom, or stomp on a wine goblet with his right foot, but they make their way back down the aisle as the new Mr. and Mrs. Fast forward an hour or so. Over 250 guest "Oow!" when he crawls under her dress to remove the garter. Everyone laughs when they smash a piece of $3,400 cake in each other's face. Listen to a little Brian McKnight. Get Aunt Carol to do the Electric Slide. Everyone has a great evening; some forget to take their personalized wedding favors, while others take two. The newlyweds rush off to pack for their week long honeymoon in the Grand Cayman, where they will bask in the perfect sun, finally finish that book they have been milling over, drink fruity cocktails, and endlessly make newly married love.

Then guess what? Real life freaking starts! Sure things are good in the beginning. A year in, they begin to forget to kiss each other good night. The babies come along and they only have sex on anniversaries and birthdays. Even when they get the in-laws to babysit, they can' decide between Outback and Carrabba's without it erupting into an argument. Then the affair happens. She has suspicions when he response to a text message in the middle of the night. This goes on for sometime without acknowledgment, then things seem to die down. She opens a secret bank account, where she stashes small bills. She calls it her Just-in-case-he-fucks-up-again fund. 10 years in, they become perfect strangers, roommates, sleeping in the same bed. Living lives that have nothing to do with each other. The kids, the bills, the same old pot roast, the same old laundry day. What the hell happened?

Please forgive my cynicism. I admit that I am/was, to say the least, jaded. But by the grace of God, literally, I have come to understand that the above scenario does not have to be MY scenario. Life-long love, respect, trust, playfulness, adventure, trust, support, trust, and did I say, trust, are possible.

So, I invite you to join me (and my fiance, who has some say in the matter) on this journey towards nuptials, as we explore more than just the process of planning a wedding. I will be candid in the emotions beneath planning to share a life with someone, my path to the decision to propose to my partner, what we may experience as couple planning a marriage in a state that still does not acknowledge same sex unions, and experience that I can not even begin to dream up. Sure, there will be some talk of dresses, and rings and all the fixin's, but here, we will look deeper into what all of these things mean today, to me, to Us. Follow along, as this former nonbeliever jumps on board to becoming the ultimate blushing bride.