Bluffing

In between bites of her chicken cheese steak, Alex curled the corner of her mouth and said, "I'm callin' your bluff." Her left field comment caught me off guard, so I forked my side salad. I was suddenly nervous and defensive. I went into a ramble about how I am happy and that this (marriage) is what I want. Alex listened, nodding a bit, then said nothing more. In our blazing silence, I began to wonder if my friend saw something in me I wasn't aware of. Had her history of listening to my rants on the impossibility of unconditional love and the soul raping power of marriage given her special goggles to see past my new found joy, and straight to the core of me? Was I still a nonbeliever dressed up in a childish dream?
By nature, I am, what some have called, impulsive (I call it passionate). With minimal warning, my feeling towards something can change; it suddenly becoming a grain of sand in my eye or the very reason I get out of bed in the morning. And, yes, I did wake up one morning deciding that I was going to give marriage another shot. Every now and then, when I find myself caught up in engagement party details, guest lists, and trying to predict if it's going to rain on August 4, 2012 (official wedding date), I have to remind myself that we are planning more than just a memorable day, we are planning a lifetime of memorable days. And, yes, it sometimes startles me. However, since the moment Megan said, "Yes!" I haven't been surer of anything in my life.
Maybe my capriciousness has left my dear Alex with her head spinning. Or, maybe it's a case of misery loves company.