Megan sat across from me, eyes glued to a line in the the newspaper. She was silent. Maybe she was enthralled by the story and didn't hear me. "Babe?" Again, nothing. But, I noticed a clench in her jaw; it's this thing she does when she is uncomfortable and wants to fly out of the room.
"Why are you ignoring me?" With that, I move to where she sat, pushed the paper from her hand, and forced her to hug me.
"I'm not ignoring you. I know you want a baby." She finally responded, a hint of a smile coming across her face.
"When can I have one?" I plead in the cutest voice I could muster.
"After the wedding."
Well, what did that mean? After the wedding could be a month or two later. It could mean the following year...or years! "Right after the wedding?" I asked. She didn't answer; she couldn't, because every muscle in her face was paralyzed by fear. I decided I needed to go into another room and write.
Earlier this morning, still in bed, we started talking about the house we are buying. I shared my vision for transforming the second bedroom into a Carrie Bradshaw closet, and how I imagined the office/writing room would be painted in a saturated shade of grey (very Emily Dickinson). Oh, and to be practical, we would need a small day bed in the office in case we had overnight guest. Megan broke in by saying that there is a whole other bedroom for guest.
"That's the Baby's room." I almost followed that with, "Duh!"
"But there's no baby, yet. You can't make it a baby room before there's even a baby."
I was puzzled. Why not?!? Here's the timeline, as I see it-- Wedding in August 2012, spend a few months adjusting to married life, then plan for a pregnancy in January 2013. One of the fabulous things about being in a same-sex relationship is that you can actually plan when and how you will get knocked-up. So, why can't I plan for the perfect room from OUR little bundle of love?
(By the way, Megan's perception of this exchange differs from mine.)
Hey there lady! I'm enjoying your posts about this plan. And wanted to offer that if you want to chat about the process of getting pregnant as a lesbian, hit me up. I'm in the process of thinking and planning too, and it's always good to have other people to get excited with...:)
ReplyDeleteI say go for it! The way I see it, we all die but we don't all "live." I think your plan is super! God Bless ... and keep writing!!! xo
ReplyDeleteYou'll make a great mom! *hugs*
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